Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Lions, and Tigers and Bears, Oh MY!

(Lyrical intro that we are all familiar with.)
We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of ~~~
Hey Poo doo, I don't think we're in Topeka any more!
What are you going to ask the Wize old wizard for?
Why, my sanity, of course!!!

Amazing what lenghts we will go to to get by, eh?
Take last week for example.

Last week was supposed to be my Spring Break. You know, that week off from the turmoils of class? When you can rejuvenate (or kill off as you deem appropriate) tired brain cells, and relaxe? Sounds good in practice, anyway! But the world has a terribly warped sense of humor, or I have SUCKER tatooed on my forehead... probably both. My boss at the food bank where I volunteer for school credit has an unusual view of the world to say the least. He's a pleasant guy, but I envision him working as an early morning DJ at some top-40 station, as opposed to the head of volunteers for a faith-based food distribution organization.
I told him I would take care of the preparations for a party to thank the volunteers. Not too daunting a position to take on my vacation. I did all the good stuff to get the party in gear, phone calls, hauling supplies, decorating, etc. Our party was to be held in the main area of a local family resource center. Only 6 people showed up for the shindig, including my boss and myself. Please imagine 6 adults, all sitting in the middle of a kid's play area, by themselves, blowing kazoos and playing party games a kid would wince at... and eating pizza. Then down to the serious business of reminding everyone of the seriousness of the impending Bird Flu Epidemic (It WILL be here soon, I was promised!) and some of the precautions that we all needed to be taking... Some party, eh? That took up 2 days of my precious vacation.

But it gets better.

I come from the undisputed KING of disfunctional families, and my mother and sister are taking every step possible to keep up with our reputation. They have been fighting for years, but remain living in the same household, where they use each other until they can't stand themselves anymore. Then I get the leftovers of whatever "hits the fan" *because, as I have said, I have sucker tatooed on my forehead.* Actually it is because I am too stupid to move out of the area... Anyway, to make a short story long, they fought, and mom kicked my sister out on the curb yet again. So she moved in uninvited with me. That meant for 3 days I had 4 people, 2 dogs and 10 cats all crammed into the living room of my tiny apartment, while my mother gloated and bragged that is was My turn to take care of her. I won't go into details of why all this transpired, but imagine the fun we had! Until mom needed someone to do her dirty work and told my sister she had to come home.... That took up another 4 days of my vacation all in all with moving.
On the last day, I did laundry and cleaned up my house after the typhoon hit and listened to my daughter whine about why I had let my relatives do that (she refuses to admit they are hers, too.) Want to take her off my hands?

So the next time you think you have had it bad, remember that it could always be My week.
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