A Confession

"How do you recognize the sound of your soul's calling?" (link)

I read that today, and it got me to thinking. What IS it that I really want?

I have been agonizing over my life lately, and trying to decide just where it is I need to be. My body is tired, and I feel more awful than anything else. Yet I refuse to just shrivel up and blow into the corner... so what to do?

I tried going back to classes online, figuring that it would be easier than actually attending a school. But in the last couple of days, my whole being has been screaming in protest. I tried taking notes as I read the text, tried to download the lab materials, but I have no heart for it at all! I have been going to school for 7 years now, and I don't think anyone would berate me if I wanted to take a break from it for a bit and heal. But what would I do with myself all day? I think I may drop the online stuff, but keep the T.A. job. I really am learning so much there, and I do need something to look forward to. I also need that little bit of human interaction. I suppose I could take the time to concentrate on my art. If I want to make any money at it, I have to create something! That isn't happening right now. There are a lot of family things in the pot, too, but those things are always there, and always stressful. Like everyone else in the world, eh?

The rest I fear will have to be "played by ear."

And Here We Go Again

Well, another school year has begun, and as usual I am swamped the first day. And it is not even attending regular classes, my courses are online. I'm also T.A. at my old campus in the art department, which may prove to be a little more than I could chew based on the workload I have already for the online stuff. The T.A. job started a couple of weeks ago, and I love it. Although it is a lot more physical work than I had imagined it would be!

Question 1 for the world: does anyone know anything about this picture? I need to know for art class. Thanks in advance for the help!