Friday, February 09, 2007


Did you ever want something soooo much it made you sigh every time you thought about it~~ even though it was impossible?

There is a frail, pallid house for sale near where I live. Leaning onto the garage is a decaying wreck of what was a shed, and the house itself is past its prime. It is a small house, too, no doubt its one of many factors that has kept it from being sold in prolonged months, even though other houses in the area have been snapped up almost immediately upon hitting the market.

I pass this plot on the way to inevitable destinations of school and the market. Despite its condition, I think about this lonely house frequently, although I’ve never even been inside. I dream of what color I’d paint it, of fixing it up, and planting gardens. I tell the kids as we drive by, “Someone should give me that house, because I’d take care of it.” They just roll their eyes... But I am old enough now that I am ready to just settle down and take root. It isn't so unusual to want a home of your own, is it?

Unfortunately, giving it to me is about the only way I’d ever be able to possess it. There is no way that I’d ever be able to pay for it; no matter the price ~ single mothers on social security just aren’t home buyers. That’s understood within the universe of common irrationality.

I don’t quite know what calls to me from this little place. I’ve always been attracted to the small ones… my cozy cottage. I tell myself, it’s so tiny; no one would be out much if they bought it for me, and they’d get the supreme satisfaction of watching me make something special out of its listless hull and making it a HOME. I’d take what I pay now on rent and put it towards improvements, that’s a good reason to make a present of it… isn’t it?

Yeah, it’s a pipe dream, I know. But a girl can dream, can’t she?!
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